How did I get here?

Hello dear readers! How are you on this lovely, warm(!) January evening?

So. How do I come to this point in my life--successful in most other things that I have set my sights on--but not in love? A very good question. I'm not entirely sure. When asked, I generally toss off the old standard "I just haven't met the right man yet!" line ...and that may very well be true.

Most recently, I have been back in the dating pool since April of last year. I really thought that I had found my man!! He was tall, dark, and handsome. A successful architect, New Orleans "royalty" in fact, who had a sexy southern gentleman's style and was ready to leave that wonderful, but troubled place and move north.

We were matched on eHarmony, and hit it off right away--writing almost every day and talking a few times a week. When he wanted to fly north to take me out to dinner I was more than flattered. We endured the coldest night of last year, holing up in a romantic Italian bistro for hours, drinking wine and talking, and just being amazed that we were actually THERE with each other. The plate glass window was frosted over with the steam from the kitchen, and he wrote my name in the frost...

I consider my first trip south to visit him one of my most memorable "dates" ever. Here's the email that I sent out to my best friend when I got back:

[My flight] arrived about an hour late due to the initial de-icing and the storm causing turbulence/head-winds, etc. [He] was there when I got out of the security area, and greeted me with a big hug and a kiss. We got my bags and got outside. It was sunny and 70 degrees!! Beautiful day. Once we got into town, we put the top down and it was just heaven. Made everything totally worth it.

I checked into my B&B and he hung out and we chatted while I unpacked. Then we got back into the car and he took me for a late lunch at Casamento's.

It turned out that his sisters were all in town at once for that night only, and we had been invited to enjoy some of his Mama's gumbo at his sister's house (How New Orleans is that??). I decided that it was a perfect time to meet his whole family, since if I didn't make a good impression, it could be explained away that I was very tired from my trip. ;)

So, after lunch we went down Magazine Street, and checked out some shops. Then we stopped into the Ponchartrain Hotel to check it out. I am really glad I didn't stay there. Like the reviews said, it was definitely once a very grand old place, but Friday it was just downright dirty and looked completely uncared for. And that was the public areas--I can't imagine what the rooms must have looked like. Sad. I hope they fix it up at some point.

After that I went back to my B&B and tried to take a nap for about an hour, and then got ready to go to dinner. His family is just great--I met all 5 sisters and his mom. Everyone was really down to earth and nice, and they all tried to make me feel welcome. [He] made sure that his mom didn't monopolize me too much, and seemed to really be sensitive to when I needed him to step in and give me a break. :) But mostly, I felt comfortable just mingling and talking with everyone. The gumbo was fantastic, and for dessert we had a King Cake. Thank goodness I didn't get the piece with the baby--that would have been awkward! Things wound up fairly early and I was able to get to bed around 11-ish. Long day.

But I slept really well, and was refreshed for Saturday. [He] picked me up around 10, and we went to breakfast at the Bluebird Cafe.

Then we put the top down and drove out to the zoo. THANK YOU for that idea. The zoo was fantastic!! I took lots of pictures and will post them online soon. We spent hours and hours there--very fun! I got a sunburn! We had some yummy jumbalaya from a stand there for a late lunch.

After that we walked across the street to the park and walked the 2-mile loop, stopping in the middle to sprawl on the grass in front of the water and relax and talk. [He] told me about a job offer that he is considering for a national architecture firm, that has an office in Boston. He is considering taking it for more reasons than that, but wanted to mention that if he took it he would likely have the option to transfer at some point. He is also going to check out the job market for other potential firms in the Boston area, since he is not yet sure if he wants to leave his current job and take another one in New Orleans at this point.

After that it was time to get ready for dinner. We got all dressed up and went to La Crepe Nanou which was great. I had the Crepe Au Crab and a couple of glasses of wine, and the Mousse Au Chocolat for dessert. Fantastic.

After dinner we went over to the Ritz to see Jeremy Davenport and his band play swing and standards. It was a bit stuffy inside, and I could tell that [he] was anxious about asking me to dance, so I suggested that since it was such a nice night out, that we go out to the courtyard, and perhaps get a Mint Julep to enjoy out there. Well, we walked into the Library Lounge and asked one Chris McMillan for a Mint Julep, and without even knowing it, we had set ourselves up for a most magical experience! While preparing our mint juleps in two of the three special silver cups that he bought himself (with his personal funds) especially for making them in, Chris recited a wonderful piece of poetry that he had committed to memory about the making of a Mint Julep. He then trusted us to take the cups with us out to the courtyard, where we found a lovely little grotto-seat to sit and enjoy the music, our drinks and the moon--I know, you're gagging at this point, right? It gets worse. We danced too! Then we sat there until 1am talking and enjoying everything.

Sunday, we had a leisurely afternoon brunch at the Savvy Gourmet, and then we went grocery shopping at Whole Foods for stuff to make dinner that night.

After dinner, we hung out in his living room and listened to music, ate dessert, drank wine and talked a lot about our ideas of how to go forward with a relationship, and what our thoughts were about how long we could manage to continue with the traveling, before we would need to make the decision to live together or not. We decided to give it at least 8 months, but no more than a year. We talked about how nice it had been that I got along with his sisters and his mama. He said that he hoped that I would be there again with all of them at Christmas, and that he couldn't wait.

Slept in yesterday. We had lunch and then went over to Lafayette Cemetery, so that I could check it out and take some pictures. It was another beautiful day!

Then [he] drove me out to the airport. He told me that he was going to miss me terribly and that even though he knew that it wasn't going to be easy, he was completely committed to seeing things through. It took me about 10-15 minutes to get through all the security hassle, and when I looked back one last time as I was walking to my gate, I saw that he had moved to where he could still give me one last wave (I know--gagging again, right?)

What a wonderful weekend that was! I am so lucky to have had the chance to experience New Orleans in that way. We continued to see each other through April, when he suddenly called me and told me that he "couldn't do the distance" anymore. He didn't really want to talk about it, beyond saying that he had been mistaken in thinking he could do a long-distance relationship, and even though he said that we would talk some more, he never called again.

I was devastated. I missed him for a log time. I was really in love with him. Or at least with the potential that I saw between us...

I spent the rest of the spring and all of the summer living it up--nursing my broken heart with all things pleasant: vacation time, friends, fun, food, wine, travel, luxuries. It was just what I needed. I made a brief foray out into the dating world again this fall, and found a most intriguing man out there... but the timing was just not right for us, and so I decided not to take it into the new year.

Isn't it funny how just the calendar turning over can inspire us to make major changes in our lives? I wonder what this year will bring?