Sunday, February 24, 2008
Blogger's Block?
Hello there, and my apologies for not posting sooner--I have been struggling a bit with inspiration for a new post. Life has been challenging in other areas this last week or so--I have flirted with the flu and my car's been in the garage, so life lately has been more on the mundane side. We all experience enough of that stuff on our own--no need to put any more of it out here. :) I'll write more when there is something more interesting going on!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Obligatory Valentine's Day Post
Hello, and Happy Valentine's Day to you, dear readers! I hope that no matter where you find yourselves--single, married... or somewhere in between, that you have had a good.... Day. :)
I have always found myself to be a bit ambivalent about this particular holiday. It seems to me that while the idea of a day for expressing love and caring seems nice, the attendant pressure to do so--as well as buy gifts and cards to somehow "prove" those declarations--takes a lot of the fun (and meaning) out of the whole idea. And if we need to be reminded to express those feelings, then doesn't that speak to a much larger issue that one greeting-card-holiday will never be able to fix?
Zefrank proposes an interesting "Judgement Day" idea in his short Valentine's rant.
Maybe if Valentine's Day worked like this, we would all take a little bit more time for our relationships. Maybe we wouldn't stay in bad ones... And, just think of it--February 15th would by default become a sort of "new blood for the dating pool" kind of day. I'll bet Match.com is already working on this... ;)
Personally, I had a pretty great day today. I usually take Valentine's Day off from work when I am single, so that I can treat myself to a fun day, and today was no exception!
Now I'm off to catch a movie. Hope you are doing something fun too.
I have always found myself to be a bit ambivalent about this particular holiday. It seems to me that while the idea of a day for expressing love and caring seems nice, the attendant pressure to do so--as well as buy gifts and cards to somehow "prove" those declarations--takes a lot of the fun (and meaning) out of the whole idea. And if we need to be reminded to express those feelings, then doesn't that speak to a much larger issue that one greeting-card-holiday will never be able to fix?
Zefrank proposes an interesting "Judgement Day" idea in his short Valentine's rant.
Maybe if Valentine's Day worked like this, we would all take a little bit more time for our relationships. Maybe we wouldn't stay in bad ones... And, just think of it--February 15th would by default become a sort of "new blood for the dating pool" kind of day. I'll bet Match.com is already working on this... ;)
Personally, I had a pretty great day today. I usually take Valentine's Day off from work when I am single, so that I can treat myself to a fun day, and today was no exception!
Now I'm off to catch a movie. Hope you are doing something fun too.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Dancing Queen
On Saturday night, I went to my very first... and second... Singles Dance.
I will admit to having been resistant to the concept, prior to this. But this year is all about broadening my horizons, and I had the perfect opportunity, since one of my activity groups was hosting a special "Valentine's" dance. So, I primped and put on my dancing shoes and a cute outfit and headed on out to see what it was like.
Overall, it wasn't a great experience.
When I first walked in it seemed very festive--there was a greeter at the door, and the women taking admission were very friendly. I think that the organizers are, in fact, a nice bunch of folks. But upon entering the ladies' room for a quick pit stop, the mood swiftly changed. Being a fairly friendly sort myself, I tried to start up a conversation, and a couple of the women were just plain catty and downright rude. Do women really feel that there are so few men "available" that they need to alienate each other just to feel like they have some sort of "edge"? At a Singles Dance?? Come on people--we're all out here together. Let's have some fun while we're at it!
Anyway, I got the heck out of there with as much grace as I could muster, and hit the dance floor, but unfortunately, it just didn't seem to be my kind of scene.
The good news is that I met two other women who were really cool and fun. They were familiar with the "Dance" scene (I'm learning fast and on my feet!) and told me that this particular dance was L.A.M.E. They were leaving, and invited me to follow them over to another dance (I had heard about it but thought this one looked better--ha!), and I grabbed the chance to get the heck out of there.
The second dance was everything that the first was not! It was HUGE and held in a beautiful ballroom overlooking a lake. I met lots of nice, friendly people, danced quite a bit and had such a good time! I even got a couple of "West Coast Swing" lessons from a very capable young man (!)
I'll be going back again for sure.
I will admit to having been resistant to the concept, prior to this. But this year is all about broadening my horizons, and I had the perfect opportunity, since one of my activity groups was hosting a special "Valentine's" dance. So, I primped and put on my dancing shoes and a cute outfit and headed on out to see what it was like.
Overall, it wasn't a great experience.
When I first walked in it seemed very festive--there was a greeter at the door, and the women taking admission were very friendly. I think that the organizers are, in fact, a nice bunch of folks. But upon entering the ladies' room for a quick pit stop, the mood swiftly changed. Being a fairly friendly sort myself, I tried to start up a conversation, and a couple of the women were just plain catty and downright rude. Do women really feel that there are so few men "available" that they need to alienate each other just to feel like they have some sort of "edge"? At a Singles Dance?? Come on people--we're all out here together. Let's have some fun while we're at it!
Anyway, I got the heck out of there with as much grace as I could muster, and hit the dance floor, but unfortunately, it just didn't seem to be my kind of scene.
The good news is that I met two other women who were really cool and fun. They were familiar with the "Dance" scene (I'm learning fast and on my feet!) and told me that this particular dance was L.A.M.E. They were leaving, and invited me to follow them over to another dance (I had heard about it but thought this one looked better--ha!), and I grabbed the chance to get the heck out of there.
The second dance was everything that the first was not! It was HUGE and held in a beautiful ballroom overlooking a lake. I met lots of nice, friendly people, danced quite a bit and had such a good time! I even got a couple of "West Coast Swing" lessons from a very capable young man (!)
I'll be going back again for sure.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
What's wrong??
Recently, a friend of mine confessed to me that her husband, upon meeting me at a party, asked her "So what's wrong with [sgrrl], why is she single?" Luckily, my friend wasn't having any, and promptly informed him that there was nothing wrong with me, rather I simply hadn't met the "right man at the right time" yet!
But I wonder... Does my "never married" status label me as damaged goods in some men's eyes? Is this something that is widely believed in the dating community?
I have always taken the idea of commitment very seriously. Over the years, I have watched my friends marry the person they were with when they were ready to settle down and/or have children... and then watched those marriages ultimately fail. I have always felt that once I married someone, that I would definitely see it through--for better or for worse.
In my life, I have had two long-term relationships that I felt had this potential. One in my early 20s (he thought that we were too young), and one a few years later (after we were engaged, I discovered that he had a "fidelity issue"). And then, of course, there was my shorter-term involvement with the architect. Over the years, I have met many men who I am sure would have made fine husbands, but there was either a commitment issue on their part or some crucial element of that relationship trinity (intellectual, physical, spiritual) that was missing for me.
Should I have married one of these guys anyway? My belief is absolutely not. As much as I wanted marriage and a family, I don't feel that it would have been fair to anyone involved.
But I wonder... Does my "never married" status label me as damaged goods in some men's eyes? Is this something that is widely believed in the dating community?
I have always taken the idea of commitment very seriously. Over the years, I have watched my friends marry the person they were with when they were ready to settle down and/or have children... and then watched those marriages ultimately fail. I have always felt that once I married someone, that I would definitely see it through--for better or for worse.
In my life, I have had two long-term relationships that I felt had this potential. One in my early 20s (he thought that we were too young), and one a few years later (after we were engaged, I discovered that he had a "fidelity issue"). And then, of course, there was my shorter-term involvement with the architect. Over the years, I have met many men who I am sure would have made fine husbands, but there was either a commitment issue on their part or some crucial element of that relationship trinity (intellectual, physical, spiritual) that was missing for me.
Should I have married one of these guys anyway? My belief is absolutely not. As much as I wanted marriage and a family, I don't feel that it would have been fair to anyone involved.
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