Playing the field.

When I think back over the last 5 years or so, I am amazed at how much my attitude towards dating has changed, with each individual experience. I am the kind of person who tries to learn something from each experience--good or bad--and my dating life these last few years is definitely a good example of that philosophy!

Five years ago, I was fresh out of a bad relationship, and on my own for the first time in 3 years. Initially I was the very picture of an extreme rebound case: Everyone I came across was just "perfect" for me and I was hell-bent on getting serious. Of course, I now realize that I was just missing the companionship and physical intimacy of my previous relationship.

I have met many, many people--men and women alike--who define dating as seeing only one person at a time. I used to feel that way about it too. But back in those days it seemed that I would end up thinking seriously, too soon, about people who were not really ready for commitment, or who turned out over time to be someone quite different from what their profile indicated, or...whatever.

These days, I subscribe to a more laid back and fun style of dating. The trick here, is to not fixate on any one man too early on in the proceedings. I try to keep things light and fun, try to go out with a few, and see over time who stands out as interesting TO me and interested IN me. If done honestly, fairly, and with clear communication, this can make dating into the tremendously fun "get out there and see what happens" pursuit that I, for one, believe that it should be!

Granted, this makes the dating phase more complicated and time-consuming--but--since I adopted this M.O. I have usually been able to stay successfully objective with my dates until I can identify those who truly have relationship potential. From there things naturally narrow down over time to the one I'd like to try getting more deeply involved with.

I like to think that even though this takes more time initially, that it has ultimately saved me a ton of time wasted in bad relationships!

Where has the time gone??

I always forget that online dating is like having a second job. Most of my writing mojo these last couple of weeks has been spent on witty email banter with potential dates. I'm a bit overwhelmed with it all, but I'm happy to say that I have met a couple of men who seem interesting, and nice so far. Stay tuned for further developments!

They got me!

So a couple of weekends ago, eHarmony had a "Free Communication Weekend." So of course I thought, since it was free, I'd just hop on and see who was "out there." Well, once thing led to another, and I started the back and forth questions and answers with a couple of interesting matches. An interesting weekend... Fast forward: I'm almost to the end of the process with a MOST interesting man, when--on the last evening of the freebie--the site gets completely bogged down with all of the frantic last-minute posts, and I cannot get a final message through! Ugh. Do they do this on purpose? So, of course I signed up (bastards!). And he and I did go the distance--we're even writing and talking in the "real world" now, so I guess it wasn't all bad... ad they're sending me a new crop of matches every few days as well. As if I didn't have enough already to distract me from blogging!

Dance Lessons

Last night I got together again with my wine-women friends. We had a great time getting to know each other better, and tasting Cabernets. I feel like I am really beginning to appreciate the different nuances of the wines. And I have discovered 3 or 4 over the last couple of months that I would definitely buy again.

As has become our custom, after enjoying some wine, food and conversation, a few of us ventured on to a nearby nightclub, for some dancing. During the course of the evening, as I walked to the bar for some more seltzer, or to the ladies' room, I would be met with much eye contact and apparent interest from the men standing about, but not once did anyone initiate a conversation or ask me to dance... Maybe it was just a slow night. But I am fairly new to the nightclub scene, so I'm wondering if there is some sort of trick to this... It was so different at the singles dance! Maybe because people can be pretty sure you're "single and looking" at an event like that? Anyone know how this works?

Regardless, I had a great time dancing with my girlfriends to a few songs. :)