When I think back over the last 5 years or so, I am amazed at how much my attitude towards dating has changed, with each individual experience. I am the kind of person who tries to learn something from each experience--good or bad--and my dating life these last few years is definitely a good example of that philosophy!
Five years ago, I was fresh out of a bad relationship, and on my own for the first time in 3 years. Initially I was the very picture of an extreme rebound case: Everyone I came across was just "perfect" for me and I was hell-bent on getting serious. Of course, I now realize that I was just missing the companionship and physical intimacy of my previous relationship.
I have met many, many people--men and women alike--who define dating as seeing only one person at a time. I used to feel that way about it too. But back in those days it seemed that I would end up thinking seriously, too soon, about people who were not really ready for commitment, or who turned out over time to be someone quite different from what their profile indicated, or...whatever.
These days, I subscribe to a more laid back and fun style of dating. The trick here, is to not fixate on any one man too early on in the proceedings. I try to keep things light and fun, try to go out with a few, and see over time who stands out as interesting TO me and interested IN me. If done honestly, fairly, and with clear communication, this can make dating into the tremendously fun "get out there and see what happens" pursuit that I, for one, believe that it should be!
Granted, this makes the dating phase more complicated and time-consuming--but--since I adopted this M.O. I have usually been able to stay successfully objective with my dates until I can identify those who truly have relationship potential. From there things naturally narrow down over time to the one I'd like to try getting more deeply involved with.
I like to think that even though this takes more time initially, that it has ultimately saved me a ton of time wasted in bad relationships!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Out of curiousity SG -> was the bad relationship 5 years ago one that spawned from the internet?
And if you are ever serious with someone do you close all communication with other "potentials"?
PS - you should become an online dating expert. ;-)
You know what Ryan? I think I did meet that guy on Match.com, now that you mention it... Hmmmm.
Even though I prefer to date more than one person at a time, once I agree to commit to an exclusive relationship with someone, I'm true blue. I make sure that the other guys know about it, and they generally move on to greener pastures. :)
Post a Comment